After I was seen doing a dance in the hallway at work...

Rachel: I was just celebrating.

Sizzle: Because you had a cigarette?

Rachel: No, I'm just happy.

Sizzle: Oh. Gross.

While disagreeing...

Rachel: Don't say that if you're kidding. That's serious.

Morgan: I'm not kidding, I'm mocking. You.

As I started to cry...

Morgan: I can't stand to see your face like that. I'm going to buy you a burka.

At the same party...

Ian: There is absolutely no butt stuff. I'm firm on that.

Liz: I don't know...you shouldn't rule anything out. It's important to keep your options open.

Ian (with extreme drunkeness, having trouble standing): What are you trying to do? Fucking ruin yourself in the eyes of Ian? Girls who do butt stuff are sluts.

Why say "hello" when instead, in front of Casey, you could greet me with...

Ian: Where's Liz? Can I fuck her?

When somebody does something she doesn't like...

Sizzle Says (sternly, eyebrows raised): That's not very sexy. You're not being sexy right now.

While discussing manhood...

Beeker: I like to wear lace panties because they make my junk look pretty.

On Her Latest Love...

Halie: His eyes actually twinkle. They twinkle like diamonds that spin.

Discussing a Petty Feud...

Liz: Oh, we know where this road leads. Shampoo peeing and pie licking.

After finally, finally agreeing to watch Grey's Anatomy...

Liz (excitedly): Oh, now I see. It's all very sexy.

On Seeing a Large Brick Colonial with Columns...

Morgan: That's where the "massah" lives. Oh, wait. A steeple. Nevermind, that's where god lives.